An explanation

I have been contemplating for about 4 months now what I was going to say to everyone. It has not been easy but I am now trusting myself to write and be guided what I need to say to make this absolutely perfect. It needs to be perfect because she deserves nothing less than perfect.

On June 15, 2015 our lives changed forever. Our 2nd child and beautiful baby girl, Rose Obray was born. Though her time on earth was brief, it was the most sacred and peaceful time I have ever experienced in my life. I will always treasure it and hold it in a very special part in my heart.

We have known for a while now that her time with us would be brief. When we went in for our 20 week ultrasound the doctor expressed concern and wanted us to have a more thorough ultrasound done with a specialist. We went to the specialist the day or two after and found out some devastating news. We were told that our daughter had a condition called skeletal dysplasia and that this specific type was more likely than not a lethal form. Skeletal dysplasia is a form of dwarfism. It is where the bones do not grow as they should and in our case that included her chest not growing making it so her organs, lungs specifically, would not be able to thrive outside of the womb.

As time went on and more ultrasounds were done our sweet baby girl's diagnosis became more and more clear that she would not be surviving outside of the womb.

Now I know not everyone reading this will be religious but I definitely am and I would feel completely ungrateful if I did not express my gratitude for the faith I have.

When Rose was born, my life instantly took a turn I never expected it would. I felt complete peace.

Through this process I was carried by Christ. I would have never been able to make it through this trial (and continue to make it through) without my faith in Christ. I believe that Christ suffered all for us including our trials and struggles in life. I have felt his love constantly through this. At the times I felt like I just couldn't handle it anymore, I felt his arms around me.

You may not have a faith but I do believe most people have hope in something. I believe faith and hope go hand in hand. I have hope that I am going to see my little baby girl again. I have hope that after this life, I will be able to be with my baby forever. I have hope that she is in a safe, loving, beautiful place and is with other family members who have passed on before who are taking care of her during this time. I have hope that this is not a goodbye but simply a see you soon. It is because of this that I have felt peace during this trying time.

I also know I have also been helped by our family and friends who knew about our situation and have prayed for our family. I felt strength in those prayers and thoughts and will always be grateful for them.

It has been absolutely humbling by all the selfless service and charity we have already received and I'm sure will continue to receive. It is actually quite overwhelming. Words cannot describe our gratitude.

As I mentioned before this has been a truly sacred experience so please don't be offended by the lack of details. I feel all that is truly important is that our Rose was and still is a blessing. She has raised my life to a whole new level of joy. I will always treasure the precious time I had with her.

We as a family are coping peacefully. We are still grieving our loss but not with loss of hope. I pray that everyone can always find something to have a hope in. Life would be so devastating without hope.

Thank you for all your prayers, thoughts, and love during this time. We are sincerely grateful!